September is for Persephone
Posted by Dezra Despain
September is over. October is half gone. I have been absent. I don’t know where to begin, so I begin here, again.
My world was dark through September. I look back at it and sense the turmoil of a caterpillar liquifying, or the gestation of a human fetus immersed in amniotic fluid, growing—both becoming what they already are, though I do not claim the liquid depths of sanctification that the butterfly or baby experience. My metamorphosis is rather lame in comparison, just another walk through a difficult time. I wonder if I will ever shake these moments of darkness and I have to answer, probably not. If I haven’t by now, I doubt I ever will. And I don’t know if I want to. In moments of lightness and smiles, I lose touch with myself and I feel rather shallow. I’m not saying I don’t want moments of lightness and smiles! I do! But I don’t want them at the expense of darkness. The two make up who I am and I am learning to embrace darkness. Darkness is like the earth and I am a plant with roots growing deep into the ground where nutrients feed me and give me nourishment. I need the fecundity of darkness as much as I need the illumination of light; one feeds my soul, the other expresses it.
The myth of Persephone comes to mind.
However, I like to think that Persephone chose to eat the seeds so that she could have the depths of the underworld available to her. But she doesn’t stay there. She does return to the surface. It’s a cycle and one that makes sense to me.
Odd. This really wasn’t the direction I initially intended for this post. But here it is. And it is me.