Indianapolis Museum of Art

The urge to roam is always strong. Where to today? I thought of my friend, Lucy, and her tales of the glorious blossoming of flowers at the Indianapolis Museum of Art (IMA) so I packed my camera and headed out. The IMA grounds are stunning. People go there as if they are going to a park, not to a museum. I saw picnicking…two people up in a tree with a blanket draped over the branch even! I passed a therapy group discussing their major problems and breakthroughs (I didn’t listen in…I had no need to know their pains). The spring birds sang in the branches above me. Children ran and challenged authority by standing close to the edge of the fountain, glancing surreptitiously at their parents while they dragged branches through the water, rippling its serenity.

The Garden of Nine

I couldn’t help but think I was in the Garden of Eden with a sense of peacefulness all around me. And yet….and yet. An undercurrent of longing, of experiencing more than simple joy and peace, nagged at me. I envisioned the lovely Nine of Pentacles and thought of how blessed I am to have a sanctuary to retreat to for rejuvenation. But I was restless. I pulled out my camera and took some lovely photos.

Golden Enlightenment

But I was restless.

I sat on a bench and closed my eyes and meditated.

A Simple Promise

But I was restless.

I enjoyed the Three Graces, the most beautiful statue in all of Indianapolis.

The Three Graces

But I was restless.

I can’t shake the restlessness. I have a longing inside me. It is best understood as my spirit wishing to separate from itself and experience duality. I have long suppressed my spirit in a life of shoulds and have-tos, a life where others told me how to live and breath and die.

The garden in the Nine of Pentacles is a beautiful place to be. It is a Garden of Eden. But we are not meant to live forever in the Garden. The myth tells us so. We cannot know ourselves if all we have is beauty, peace, and loveliness. Creativity and life comes out of duality, of experiencing the other, of alchemical reactions and chafes and conflict.

So I left the Garden. Rejuvenated, yes. But with anticipation of something  more.

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About Dezra Despain

Life is full of stories waiting to be revealed.

Posted on April 3, 2010, in Wanderlust. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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