When I was in my twenties, I took a long walk with a friend. We shared stories and ideas and disclosed some of our desires and fears.
I said, “You know, I’m actually really shy.”
She burst into laughter that quickly got sucked into giggles. “No you’re not!”
Startled and confused because it was so apparent to me that I was shy, I didn’t understand why she laughed. Then I reviewed my life in that split second we all have, and I started laughing with her.
I didn’t ACT shy! I acted gregarious and fun, and I drew a lot of attention to myself, especially back in my twenties. I let our conversation drop, but inside the truth remained, I’m shy. Reserved is the better word.
Since my twenties and especially in the last decade, I’ve re-evaluated my approach to life. I’m more true to myself. I’m the “shy” person I claimed to be in my twenties. Only I now recognize it as being reserved, and I’m quite comfortable being reserved.
That’s why when Zach asked if I’d get involved with The Rocky Horror Show, my response had to be quick before my reserve kicked in and made me say no.
It took a lot of willpower for me to drive downtown to Footlite Musicals by myself, park my car, and walk into the building.
Hedback Community Arts Center is home to Footlite Musical and Epilogue.
I parked out back and stared at the place. A handful of men stood around the back door, hanging out like gang members. They slouched against the door, stood in the doorway, smoked, laughed. I had to walk between them in order to enter the building. I was not amused. I almost left.
Back Entrance for Cast, Crew, and Staff
In spite of the irrational fear that one of them would grab my arm and say, “You don’t belong here. Leave,” and shove me away, I stepped out of my car.
They watched me as I approached. I’m sure they were curious about me. They’d been working together for weeks, and I’m a new face, but in my mind, they glared at me. However, I had a strategy to get past them. It has worked in the past, and I knew it would work this time.
Some of them smiled back. Some looked away. One waved. I walked through the door. I made it in. Worst part over.
Crossing unknown thresholds like that unnerves me. Even back in my twenties when I was my most gregarious I had difficulty crossing unknown thresholds. That’s why I thought I was shy, but I crossed them anyway.
I found Zach. He introduced me to the stage manager, and now I’m part of the crew. I belong there.
Now, when I pass by those men hanging out by the door, I smile, say something ingenious like “hi” (I’m so creative), and sashay on inside.
The following are photos I took that first day I was there. It was tech rehearsal and ended being a long day:
What you see as you enter through the back door.
All the backstage walls are painted and numerous names have been scribbled on them. I suspect actors and crew who have worked at Footlite autograph the walls.
Stage Set for Rocky
The stage manager asked if I would feel comfortable working the rails. Rails?? I said, “Sure, if you tell me what they are.” I was such a newb. The rails fly curtains, lights, and sets in and out (or up and down, but theater lingo uses in and out).
The “Sonic Oscillator” still in creation mode. In the play, the sonic oscillator helps bring Rocky to life.